1.I googled “Rorshach test.”

But all that came up were pictures of my parents fighting.

2. If you have 10 apples in one hand and 14 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Really, really big hands.

3.What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?

Prime mates.

4.A man walks into a lawyer’s office and asks, “How much do you charge?”

The lawyer says, “$5,000 for three questions.”

“Wow, that’s pretty expensive, isn’t it?” the man asks.

“Yes,” says the lawyer. “Now, what’s your third question?”

5 .What do we want? Low-flying airplane noises!

When do we want them? NNNNNEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

6.I took part in the suntanning Olympics…

…but I only got bronze.

7.Not only is my new thesaurus terrible…

…it’s also terrible.

8.How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

9. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.

10.Murphy’s Law says that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Cole’s Law is thinly sliced cabbage.

All jokes credited by  Buzzfeed.com