1-What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away.

2-I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals?

Sadly, no pun in ten did.

3-What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

4-Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump.

5-If you ever get cold, stand in the corner of a room for a while.

They’re usually 90 degrees.

6-What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?

“Put it on my bill.”

7-What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

8-George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.

Clooney says, “I’ll direct.”

DiCaprio says, “I’ll act.”

McConaughey says, “I’ll write, I’ll write, I’ll write.”

9-A horse walks into a bar…

The bartender says, “Hey.”

The horse replies, “Sure.”

10-Apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password.

It’s not stroganoff.

All Jokes credited by BuzzFeed